The Mud Leading the Blind Sheep

I hate people. Wait, allow me to rephrase. I hate dumb people. Do you ever wonder how people got so dumb? Let's start with one of the earliest of ways that allows us to communicate with one another: forming a written sentence. To those of us that were paying attention in grade school, we learned about contractions. For example, the words "you are" are contracted to form "you're", not 'your'. The word 'your' is an entirely different word. Let's see the uses of these words in a sentence, shall we?

1. You are an idiot.
2. You're an idiot.
3. Your an idiot.

Numbers 1 and 2 are the correct way to use that contraction. In Number 3's use, an intelligent life form knows that the word 'your' deals with possession. I would like to also acknowledge verbal statements such as 'Let me "axe" you a question?' and 'I want pixza'. These are not only insulting to Paul Bunyan and his blue ox, Babe.. but also insulting to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. So please, if not for yourself.. do it for Splinter. Anyway, since this is not an English course... i'll move along.

Now, I don't know when people started to believe that they are hotter than a hippopotamus's ball sac, but these social media creations have allowed the vanity to come out in every human. Known as 'selfies', these vain people take pictures of themselves as if they are worth more than the Sultan of Brunei and post it in these outlets for the whole world to see. And then these people wonder why stalking is an issue in this world. Below is a summary of what I mean:

Using the scenario of Instagram above, let's say Person A (mostly of the female gender) uses their 'popularity' to post random stupid stuff because they are an attention seeker and know that there are dumb idiots out there that will blindly give them the attention because they think that that person is 'cool' and someone that they aspire to be like for some reason. And then Person B double taps (similar to 'Like' on Facebook) person A's picture for that very reason. Person B is someone that finds inspiration over Person A (who doesn't give 69 craps of who they are, nor even knows their first name), who is someone born into rich parents that is spoiled, blessed with amazing looks that they never had to work for, or that doesn't know what a hard job is or what a hard life consists of. And God Forbid someone say something to this effect because in comes every white knight in shining armor from every far away land defending this Person A's honor as if this person split the atom or cares about their feelings. Good Grief. I weep. Some people really are sheep. Wait, maybe not. Sheep actually contribute to society.

Women Be Shopping

Do you ever wonder how it is that women find themselves sitting courtside in NBA games? Well, you're not the only one. This has been as unanswered a riddle as the chicken or the egg. To first answer this riddle, we first must pinpoint as to why women have suddenly become such avid NBA fans.

Let's take my hometown Miami Heat and their 'bandwagon' fans. Granted, this city is one where winning breeds fans. True fans, of course, would support their team through the good times and the bad. True fans, of course, would know some of their team's accomplishments, and true fans, of course, would know the names of the team's current and past players. Or so you would think.. There are even tall tales out there of mythical "fans" going out to watch a movie when meaningful playoff games are about to start. Some support that is, huh. To gauge better knowledge of those that we are talking about, below is something that should be handed out to all Miami Heat 'fans' as they enter the arena..

Once completed, we can hopefully start to get an idea of how the courtside seats seem to be occupied my more women than men. Being a Psych major, I will hypothesize that more women will leave the "Last team you were a fan of:" question blank, as well as their 'Age'. Let's see how the null hypothesis fairs as long as the Miami Heat stay relevant.

To go back to the original question of how it is that women find themselves sitting courtside in NBA games, we could assume that perhaps they are looking to attract some athletic genes into their ancestry tree. Or perhaps, they work in well paying boutiques. Or maybe, they have a good 'relationship' with an arena employee. I'd like to think that these women who occupy a courtside seat have contributed something to society to say they have earned that experience. Unfortunately, just like how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know.

Who is Jason Whitlock?

Jason Whitlock is the individual that I would owe it all to if I ever get rich and famous from blogging. He is the straw that broke the camel's back, although he might actually break the camel's back if he sat on it. I digress. His FOX Sports article titled 'Heat can be beat and Lebron knows it" has to be one of the strangest and ranks right up there with the worst case of "hey, 'Like' my article on Facebook please so that I can keep my job' articles that I have ever read.

Yes, I am a homer. Yes, I will support my Miami Heat team. And yes, I have doubted them at times but never have I been as ignorant or lacked as much appreciation for a team that has globally taken over the sport that allows me to pays my bills. Jason Whitlock has done just that. I am aware that he is a lifelong Indiana Pacers fan, but for why? Maybe because he feels Reggie Miller should have had more famous moments other than his miracle versus the Knicks in the playoffs some eons back. Other than that, they are not as relevant as he would want them to be.

Let's analyze some excerpts of his article: First, "Is Frank Vogel as good as Tom Thibodeau? No. But Vogel is better than Spoelstra. Erik Spoelstra is not an elite coach. I’m sorry. He’s not. Anyone who watched the Bulls battle Miami over five games recognized the coaching advantage Chicago held over the Heat." Hey Whitlock, explain to me then why Spoelstra was higher in the NBA coach of the year voting than Vogel. Convince me as to how Vogel is a better coach when Spoelstra beat Vogel with a Bosh-less Heat time last season in the playoffs and brought about his 'Pace and Space' offense. All you have is a 7-foot center. Must be hard to coach that player: "Hey Hib, just stand in the middle and put your arms up. There that should do it. I am so much better than Spoelstra, but not Thibs. dum di dum dum dum".

Another excerpt: 'I’m saying the Heat are vulnerable, and they know it. LeBron knows it. That’s why he’s pretending Pacers coach Frank Vogel disrespected the Heat by not calling Miami just another team. LeBron is looking for an emotional edge because he knows Miami’s physical edge is much less pronounced with Wade needing milk of the poppy (Game of Thrones reference) to play on two legs.' Now, maybe a stray dog was picked over Whitlock during P.E. class in middle school when it came time to picking teams and since then he has held a real resentment to those with athletic skills far superior to his, which i am sure is not saying much. Otherwise, I don't know why he feels that he's entitled to mention the 4 time MVP and 1 time NBA Finals MVP in such a negative way AND to include a Game of Thrones reference, in which I feel that the show's creator deserves an apology.

I believe in the freedom of speech and the right to press and all that jazz. But sometimes you have to understand that what a sports writer does is a privilege, not just their job. And this 'columnist' Whitlock needs to realize that before writing a 'column' like this just because he knows it will get hits and grind gears. If you decide to read Jason Whitlock's article, beware: it is dark and full of terrors (Game of Thrones reference).

***ADDENDUM: GAME 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals.. Hey Whitlock, good coaching decision by Vogel keeping Hibbert on the bench for the last Heat possessions, including the game winning shot by the MVP, Lebron James.